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® 2016 ::
after all these years come our moral maxims. according to fashion, common trends. in the oblivion, we can smile more often. dreams take off [and crash] we leave homeland behind. I don't care about my traditions and yet I yearn to the seductive scents of the past. I show some signs of belonging and yet I have no place on earth. except one night you'll put your head next to mine. we will be both lost but our loss will have a common denominator. we'll cross the river together. hand in hand. even if we are only passing by, pebble upon pebble.
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some nights never end. my mind is lit. my perspective is lost. all I know does not count so much anymore. only the memories are letting me survive. I do [not] need you to help me. |
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is solitude really tragic. perhaps it’s just a state of hope. I dare to think. we are all just stationary quitters. time will judge us, and time will not forgive us. compromises we make. we should feel relieved but we only feel embarrassed. and shame is on the way to call our bluff. I don’t need you. you don’t need me. and yet we’re still on this couch. |
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how do we lie to each other. hope that doesn't exit. reluctant to move on. so we are not ready but what are we waiting for. the future is known. the cards are dealt. knives and forceps. broken into too many pieces to make an old puzzle. let go. |
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days go by unnoticed. I’m still participating. up and down. something in between. my body moves along the corridors of time. carried by pavements and roads that lead. I lose myself in a haziness of loss. the mistakes come unforgiven. the horrors. the regrets. I sob through the future memories I want never to forget. not all is designed to survive. |
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I can barely remember how it goes. words, take time, take nothing, take care. there’s probably more to life than a breath, but surely less than we think. |
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how will we stay together after all this is finished? I don’t want you to wait for life. live now, miss me only sometimes. we’ll always be, somewhere. |
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today, we're just getting by. |
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a few steps back, little forth. time stands still when we wait. there’s something we want. or maybe somewhere to head. best friends with anxiety. hope, fear, love - all the damns. |
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on the sideway, perhaps some primitive desires. and only the music doesn’t fail. something out there to save the mind. delicate clapping in the background. jazz. table, lamp, little life. we can(‘t) have it all. |
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what was I doing, waiting for the other life to come?
[when we're young - aren't we all invincible?] |
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there is always at least one song yielding memories. a single force acting at displacement. origins are blurred, roots ripped off the ground. days are pulling out equations and algorithms right in front of us.
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has it always been this easy to assemble into a wrench? you pick and choose, I wait and see. my very own skeptism bona fide. I stop and I look at you from the distance. my eyes are still a bit empty around the edges. [what would our conversations be without the oxymorons] |
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five days to go [counting days slows it all down - I can't remember what I'm waiting for]. only time takes things away. |
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between you and me, there is little and lots. it's a mistery. [I've been decoding the knittable knots of what you might see in me]. |
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we are the quiet warriors of survival. we turn time to forget and we forget to lock life into tissue of our existence. we're the surgical surtres of concession, we’ve given it all up. these fabrics of fading sensation under our fingertips, they’re coming undone. and when the stitches let go, we break too. like tiny birds under the rain. |
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thoughts can orbit either way. something makes up a conversation after a long pause. what else could we have shared with each other? |
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your time hasn't come yet. just like my life has always been on hold. and why am I still waiting for tomorrow. |
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every now and then the outside breaks. it is simple. life is not made of puzzles that fit. instead we surrender to an avalanche. events unfold, heads crash. dark clouds instead of a sunny side-up. a new contraceptive
pill protecting from happiness. we are weaker - some of us. we break down and we don't hope for the best. little by little |
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there is a cliff ahead, ocean of tears at the bottom. human flesh replaced by a tremble, an uncountable matter of pieces. in the old days, we could still scrape the barrel, see a change for what it was - a buoyant distraction. back then we had hope. there is nothing more to take in, you can pour your heart out. the plans you make - they are nothing but an imminent test. flinch of reality. [now all we have is the future to make up]. |
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polar nights in the summer. bears too get lonely. stuffed. from surviving to barely breathing. the heart slows down, it stops eventually. it might be a splitting second but this moment is a variation of the end. life mimics the stratospehere. clouds we watch for a number
of reasons are finally contained. |
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[in] the spectacular nothingness everything must end. we still play a minor part even when we no longer exist. what really happened really doesn't matter. I/you/we are finally left heartbroken and the finishing line, yet another laceration we came to collect. after this there is no new beginning. social abyss, a long cave of unwanted memories. in a solitary pause, there comes a reclusive non-being. reality for skipping, plenty of senseless hours will now go by unnoticed. the spontaneous waste we endure. at the end of the day the dark schemes thrive, and the life not worth living. every urban myth about love we believed in, we lost. we wanted happiness, |
